I’m being followed by a moon shadow

I could not sleep last night for the life of me. I wandered around, went to the bathroom, knitted, got a drink of water. I meditated, and prayed. I was in and out of bed a bunch of times. It was actually a lovely night except for the not sleeping thing.

It finally occurred to me that it was the fault of the moon, a moon so full and bright that it was almost like day light outside. I wandered over to the window to give that moon a stern talking to, but when I looked up at him through the empty trees I was stunned into silence by the beauty of the moon light shining through the millions of diamonds frozen to the bare branches. It was beautiful.

Aaahhhhhh boxing day

 

Well we had Christmas with the Gales. It was lovely. We had to get Bob home so he could work today. Luckily the bad weather held off until to day. Lots of fun. Lots of rum. Off to the theater tonight to see Scrooge. I’m excited. Hope the weather clears up.

Took lots of cousin pictures so I could make a cousin quilt. Bob wouldn’t smile without giving me the finger. Then the rest of them started doing the same. Ya nothing says we miss you than a quilt covered in pictures of your cousins giving you the finger.

This is a test

Bob posted this to test a program for da mama.  For lowering da mama’s blood pressure.  Pull my finger.

don'tthrowthecomputer My new mantra

Yesterday when I blogged, I was a bit afraid because I hadn't done it in a while and I can never remember how to get into it even though all of my passwords are saved. It should be a piece of cake but there's always some kind of hassle. Not yesterday! I get on to the blogger dashboard. I choose my blog, and off I go. Two minutes. No pain.

Ok so today I was going to write a cute story about being married on Solstice eve. That was a full half hour ago. First I go to the dashboard. It tells me that I am signed in but I do not have any blogs. Would I like to start one? NO! I want my other blogs to be there, just like they were yesterday. I decide to sign out and start again. I sign out and now it won't let me sign back in with the exact same email and password. The same ones!

sigh. So I sign in over and over again hoping that somehow it will change it's mind and let me in. It doesn't. after many tries and an amazing act of will power (i didn't throw my lappy against the wall) I just sat here fuming. I try to sign in one more time knowing that although seven might be the charm, I will not be signing in today......and then, kaplooie, I'm in. Why? I don't know. Times one through six were no different, yet here I am. Unfortunately I was told that I didn't have any blogs. AArrrrgg. don'tthrowthecomputerdon'tthrowthecomputerdon'tthrowthecomputer

OK I'm fine lets just find them shall we? "Can't find your blogs? Click here. " Oh I'll click here mister!! There will be clicking. "enter the url of the blog you are searching for" Ok so I open another window, find it, paste and copy it into the window. It tells me "no such blog" No such blog???? I open the other tab and stare at the blog that apparently doesn't exist. don'tthrowthecomputerdon'tthrowthecomputerdon'tthrowthecomputerdon'tthrowthecomputer
(who says I don't have will power?)

Sigh....so I fiddle with is until it recognises the url and sends me an email to another email account. For some reason it decided to sign me in by using my igoogle email and password instead of my blogger gmail account. Why would it change that without asking me? Why didn't it remember me the way it has been remembering me for years? Why did it happily remember me in yesterday and not today? don'tthrowthecomputerdon'tthrowthecomputer Man oh Man.

Then I look up the word solstice and when I come back my blog has vanished! Vanished! Gone! don'tthrowthecomputerdon'tthrowthecomputerdon'tthrowthecomputerdon'tthrowthecomputer
I am afraid to hit spell check. I'm just so very afraid

Been a while

Well here we are almost Christmas. I have pretty well everything done. Today I'll be baking pies for Christmas Day at Uncle Brian's. Charles is in town today and Chuck back at work and Dan sleeping and I'm alone. Aahhhhh.

Yesterday we gave out the last of our gifts to Amonte people and there we go.

Oh a couple of days ago a couple of people went out on to the lake a chopped a hole to see how thick the ice is. Then they turned and ran off of the lake. Tools. Yesterday we saw someone ese do the same thing and then put up an ice shack and drive his 4 wheelers out there. Wow, I hope when the ice breaks and he falls through that he catches a really big fish on the way down.

Two things

First I created the most accident prone piece of quilt art ever! I made a wall hanging to go in the fair. The theme this year is Bees so I made a hanging with a goofy bee and it says Bb is for Bummblebee. As first I put it on my dresser where it was leaning against an oil lamp and it wicked up kerosene. It stunk! So my quilters told me just to put it outside and the smell would fade. This morning Charles looked out on the deck and it was leaning against the screen, dripping with rain. Sigh.

Second I had this dream. Fran, Pam, Steve Dave, and all of us decided to make deep fried ice cream. We rolled the ice cream into balls and rolled them into cookie crumbs and froze them to make them really hard. Then we decided that deep fried ice cream was bad for us and it would be much healthier to bake the ice cream instead. So we did. They looked yummy, but Pam and Steve Dave ate mine!!!!!! They apologised and handed me a ball of fruit and tried to make me believe is was ice cream! As if!!!! Nice try Pam and Steve Dave! GRRrrrrrr!

Aahhhhhh Spring

Spring yard work time. I grab my wheelbarrow and rake and take my dog and off I go to pick up the sticks from the lawn. Hhhmmmmm... Take the dog and pick up sticks.... I didn't thing that through. I'm throwing them in the wheelbarrow and he's pulling them out and running around the house. He's gonna sleep well tonight with four tired legs and a sore ass!

I've almost got Bob's window painting done. I worked long and hard to find a graffiti font. I found the cutest one that was all bubbles letters, so cute! Unfortunately I was told it wasn't real graffiti, so I went back to Mr. Google to find better graffiti. Well I've been on more "Make money by doing nothing" and "Do you wanna f*** this girl" sites than the time I wanted to show Bela what Canadian wild life looks like and I googled "beaver".

sex and poop

Have you ever noticed that people like to talk to me about bodily functions, particularly sex and poop? Yesterday I was talking to a wonderful lady that I love who is in her 80's. She starts telling me about how great sex is and no one ever told her how much fun it is. It isn't just for having babies and getting a man. We talked about the last generation (I kinda thought she was the last generation) and how hung up they were about these things. Her mom never told her anything and her first period came as a confusing surprise to her. I told her how I was told once you tricked a guy into marrying you, you didn't have to have to worry about sex much after that, and sure it's fun when you're young, but once you have a man it isn't anymore. We laughed at our mom's and said if they didn't like it then they were doing something wrong. hahahaha

Betty gives me great hope. So many times we see older people who, even when they seem to be happy, have a sadness or anger about them. Always seeing the negative things, the things gone wrong, or the things that will go wrong if they dare to do something fun or different. Not so with Betty. She is my inspiration! She teases people, smiles, laughs. She is joy even when she's not feeling well. And she loves sex at 80 something! Very cool! You go girl!

Why?

Why is there red wine everywhere, and why is my computer sitting in a puddle of red wine?

Best drugs ever

Ok so my anti depressants weren't really working and i was feeling worse and worse, so I went to the Doctor. She gives me these new ones and says come back in 2 weeks so I can see how you're doing. Fine says I.

I go back yesterday for a check up. These are the best meds ever! I feel great! Just like my old self, better even. I just have these 2 strange things happening. I have a sore throat and my cheeks keep turning red. She looks over at me and sticks a thermometer in my ear. Turns out I have a throat infection and a fever, but I've never been happier! Best drugs ever!!!

What a difference a word makes, eh?

Yesterday when Brian and I were driving around he told me this joke. It left me confused. See if you understand it any better.

A woman had 2 female parents, and all they ever said was "I'm a prostitute. Wanna have a good time?" This embarrassed her so she took them to the local church to see if the priest could help. The priest said no problem, because as it turns out he had 2 male parents with a similar problem. What he did was he taught them to pray, saying the rosary everyday, and everything was good. So they decided to put the woman's parents in with Peter and Frank, the priest's parents. They put them together and the girls said "I'm a prostitute. Wanna have a good time?" And the one guy said to the other, "Put down those beads Frank. Our prayers have been answered.

Now I didn't understand why the woman and the priest both had same sex parents and why those same sex parents wanted to get lucky with each other. I was confused. I just don't get it.

So today we were driving around and Brian asked if he'd told me his parrot joke. I said that I didn't remember but start telling me and I'd stop him if I'd heard it before. It goes like this.

A woman had 2 female parrots, and all they ever said was "I'm a prostitute. Wanna have a good time?" This embarrassed her so she took them to the local church to see if the priest could help. The priest said no problem, because as it turns out he had 2 male parrots with a similar problem. What he did was he taught them to pray, saying the rosary everyday, and everything was good. So they decided to put the woman's parrots in with Peter and Frank, the priest's parrots. They put them together and the girls said "I'm a prostitute. Wanna have a good time?" And the one guy said to the other, "Put down those beads Frank. Our prayers have been answered.

What a difference a word makes, eh?

Lenten Food Lessons (LFL)

For the past few days I've given up any notion I've ever had about eating. No counting, no guilt, just enjoy the blessings of our bounty. It's been really hard! I didn't realise just how hard it would be. It almost kills me to not look at the back of a package to make sure it isn't too calorific. Not that I wouldn't eat it anyway. It kills me to eat bananas and cookies for breakfast and then not eat a full "normal" breakfast to assuage the guilt and cause I should eat proper things. And......what is a normal breakfast anyway, or a normal lunch, or a normal supper? What's right? What's wrong? I just don't know.

I was feeling really lost and confused about the whole thing this morning. Feeling bummed cause I think I've gained weight eating like this, but getting on the scale is one of the no no's of my lenten plan. I was just feeling so lost and confused. Weird eh?

I knew I couldn't go back cause there is not comfort in what was, but what does going forward look like? Nothing left to do but pray. Talk it over with God. I needed to know that things would be alright.

Well I made a pot of tea and put yogurt on my cereal. The cereal was a bit stale as I was munching and I thought, I don't have to eat this. It's stale. Normally I would have probably eaten it. Waste not want not. (What the hell does that mean anyway?) So I put it aside and found a tea biscuit left over from supper. I buttered it up and put a bit of grape jelly on it and savoured every bite. When I was almost done, a small piece fell off. It had a bit of butter on it, but I wanted some jelly on it too, not a ton or anything, but just a drop, so I knocked a bit off of the other part of the biscuit. It landed in a silent little plop that made me smile. When I picked up my last little piece I noticed that the jelly had landed in the shape of a heart, a perfect, glistening, ruby of a heart. and I knew that it would be ok.

God loves me, and He'll see me through the confusion. I need to let go of old, preconceived junk to allow room for the new blessings. I can't accept the present if my hands are full of the past. I'm letting go of the worry and fear for today. Hope of a life spent with You. Amen

ps. Normal people fast during lent, I eat more. I love being me!

Left overs from last post

ok so I told you about my dream and that was fun. Pam suggested if I wanted perky boobs I should get some boob helium or booblium as Fran and Peter and PC and I are now calling it. I wonder what the lady at shopper's drugmart will say when I ask for some booblium? hahaha

So Pam has also inspired me to think about giving up something for lent. This got me thinking , and it seemed quite a challenge for me cause I like all of my stuff. I don't wanna give any of it up. So I'm thinking about this and chatting with God and I thought well I wouldn't mind giving up dieting. hahahaha Then it struck me. I'm aways worrying about my weight and how I look and what I fit into. I'm always reading the info on the back of everything I eat and trying to count calories or points, eat more fruit and veggies less sweets, and guilt guilt guilt cause I just can't seem to do this dieting thing. So I'm giving it up for lent!

Now what exactly does this mean? Well I've been puzzling it out with God's help. This is what I have so far. I have to be conscious of eating. I have to be thankful for what goes into my body. No eating absent mindedly. No eating in front of the tv or computer or while reading or driving. Food is to be enjoyed and cherished. It's a gift. So many have little or no food. I am blessed with an abundance.

And no guilt is allowed while eating or after. If I eat something sweet and huge I have to love every bite and not feel guilty, just thankful. When I start to feel guilt I start to eat faster as if someone was planning on taking my last mouthful, so I have to eat thoughtfully, relishing the gift. If I become full or do not like something I can stop without guilt or fear that I will insult someone.

That's what I have figured out so far. I'm giving up dieting and guilt! Best lent ever!

Dreams and Lent and stuff

Ok so I always am a smidge jealous of Pam and Bob who will talk about"knowing they are dreaming". I never know, and I don't know if I dream in colour or not. Well last week I realised I was in a dream and that around the corner there was something that was gonna scare me really badly. I could sense it's shadow. I realised that I was dreaming and I decided to walk around the corner and not be scared. So I went around the corner and wasn't scared. It was kinda cool.

Last night I was thinking about that when I went to bed and I had this dream. It was epic, but I'll just tell you the cool parts. PC and I were in the old house. We had just had guests and I showed them the roses I'd picked from the garden. There were dark red ones, medium pink ones and some pale pink ones. I remember telling the visitors that the dark coloured ones had held up a lot longer than the lighter coloured ones. Then when we were alone again I looked at the roses and poof they were purple, dark, medium, and light purple. So vibrant, but purple and I remember thinking they sure are pretty, but I thought they were red before. Huh....

Then PC said I'm just talking to your mom on the phone. I said that I thought my mom was dead. He said that ya she was. So you're talking to my dead mother on the phone? Huh...

Then it hit me! I'm dreaming! Cool! So I stood there in the dining room and thought well if this is my dream lets just change things around a bit. First thing first if it's my dream I'm gonna be skinny, so I raised my hands and blooooop I got skinny and just a smidge talker. I went to show PC who was still on the phone, and on the way over I looked at my sorry old lady boobs. Oh no no no they won't do and boing! firm and luscious boobs. This cracked me up and I laughed till I woke myself.

Cool eh? I could see colour and I realised I was dreaming and I manipulated the dream. Very very cool. Now I won't go into the psychology of why I'd rather have firm boobs than talk to my mother whose been gone low these many years. hahahahaha I dream in firm colour!!!!

I had more to tell you but we're going snow shoeing now. Later y'all

Dreams

I had an epic dream last night. Let me set the stage.

Charles, the boys and I were at some kind of event. There was this long building, one third of it was a cafeteria style food bar and the other end was a theater, but it was a crappy theatre. There was an aisle down the middle and the seats on the left and right of the isle all faced toward the middle. Behind this building was a baseball diamond with really high bleachers that went straight up but had no stairs to get there. In front of the building, across the street was a Burger King. Charles and I went to BK to get us some cheeseburgers while the boys stayed behind. We noticed that something was going on across the road. People had gathered around the building and all of the windows were closed and their shutters had been rolled down so you couldn't see inside. Odd, we thought, so went back to see what was going on.

Gunmen had taken the people inside of the building hostage. I was terrified. Where were the boys? I started to search frantically, and I found Chucker right away. Whew good, now where were his brothers. I tried to look into the building through the open doors at the end to see if they were in there. I couldn't really see so I decided to go in anyway. My babies needed me. Just as I was going to go in I was stopped by Jeff Semple. He had been here to go to the event, but was now covering the fast breaking story, live. "You can't go in there", he said," There are professionals coming who will take care of the situation. It's just too dangerous. Stay out here."

Every few minutes the gunmen let out a few more hostages, the little kids, the sick ones. I kept hoping to see Bob and Dan come out, but no. Finally I couldn't stand it. I went in. The gunmen stared at me, unbelieving. "What do you want?" They screamed! Bob and Dan!! I yelled back. All guns were pointed at me as they tried to decide what to do.

Then, as sometimes happens in dreams, I could see an aerial shot of where everyone was. I was in a run down theater with a dozen guns pointed at me. Charles and Chucker were outside, as was my bag of cheeseburgers. Bob and Dan had gone to the bleachers and somehow figured out how to open the secret stairs, made out of Lego, that allowed them to climb right to the top of the bleachers and were sitting there having a great old time with Homer Simpson.

Groundhog Day's a'comin'

I love my kids. They amuse me. They each do things that I love and crack me up. Today I wanna tell you about one of the things that Dan does that I love. When we sit around coming up with hair brained ideas, we usually just laugh and never get off of the couch. Dan, however, just jumps right in there and says let's do it and then proceeds to make the idea hairier and brainier.

I really wanted to built a snowman, but no one would help.....but Dan. So off we go with green boxes and shovels in hand. We start making blocks so that they can freeze and we can stack them. Then we come up with the fact that we never did get Christmas lights out, but groundhog day IS fast approaching. That''s one holiday that can't go uncelebrated!

While working on our blocks, decide to spray them with water so that they'll freezer harder, and Dan suggests adding food colouring to the water. Brilliant! Our lawn is now littered with blue and red blocks of snow randomly scattered.

Today or tomorrow we'll have to put our snow dude together. Then we'll wrap him in lights, scatter a few beer bottles around and put up our "Happy Groundhog Day" sign. I expect we'll have the nicest display on the block. I just hope we'll have time to do all of that before the second. It's just so busy around the holidays. It's hard to find the time. Is it too early to start baking the groundhog day cookies?

I'm just not sure who's cooking the groundhog this year? I must ask Uncle Brian.

Manic????

OKOkokok... so.... I got some yarn and started a new afghan.... I got some cloth and started a new baby quilt...... I ordered some crocheting books to try these new techniques cause I knit well but my crocheting needs improvement..... I bought some material to make a new night gown..... I got a new cook book cause I really should start eating better and I made there great roasted pepper and pine nut appetizers and roasted the peppers myself...... I started making the outsides to my new pillow cases..... and today I'm hoping to start cleaning up the couch pile and the kitchen....and ..and...and...