Lenten Food Lessons (LFL)

For the past few days I've given up any notion I've ever had about eating. No counting, no guilt, just enjoy the blessings of our bounty. It's been really hard! I didn't realise just how hard it would be. It almost kills me to not look at the back of a package to make sure it isn't too calorific. Not that I wouldn't eat it anyway. It kills me to eat bananas and cookies for breakfast and then not eat a full "normal" breakfast to assuage the guilt and cause I should eat proper things. And......what is a normal breakfast anyway, or a normal lunch, or a normal supper? What's right? What's wrong? I just don't know.

I was feeling really lost and confused about the whole thing this morning. Feeling bummed cause I think I've gained weight eating like this, but getting on the scale is one of the no no's of my lenten plan. I was just feeling so lost and confused. Weird eh?

I knew I couldn't go back cause there is not comfort in what was, but what does going forward look like? Nothing left to do but pray. Talk it over with God. I needed to know that things would be alright.

Well I made a pot of tea and put yogurt on my cereal. The cereal was a bit stale as I was munching and I thought, I don't have to eat this. It's stale. Normally I would have probably eaten it. Waste not want not. (What the hell does that mean anyway?) So I put it aside and found a tea biscuit left over from supper. I buttered it up and put a bit of grape jelly on it and savoured every bite. When I was almost done, a small piece fell off. It had a bit of butter on it, but I wanted some jelly on it too, not a ton or anything, but just a drop, so I knocked a bit off of the other part of the biscuit. It landed in a silent little plop that made me smile. When I picked up my last little piece I noticed that the jelly had landed in the shape of a heart, a perfect, glistening, ruby of a heart. and I knew that it would be ok.

God loves me, and He'll see me through the confusion. I need to let go of old, preconceived junk to allow room for the new blessings. I can't accept the present if my hands are full of the past. I'm letting go of the worry and fear for today. Hope of a life spent with You. Amen

ps. Normal people fast during lent, I eat more. I love being me!